2:01 p.m. - 2009-06-09
water
it's okay, the way the water is. the ways it's smooth or the way it moves or how deep and cool it can be or how it can swallow you up completely. it's okay to stand by the water. it's really nice there. it makes you feel reflective and it's good to let your toes play with the wetness. and really, it's good to be by the water.

i know the truth now. i sigh a little. to sew together such incompatable truths. i grew up somehow, i realized a victory that i didn't even realize i realized. words come so easily to me sometimes, they just slide from my fingers and into your eyes and it's like loveletters only it's not. there's arguing and then there's not. there's drugs and sex and then there's not.

it's okay, suddenly. the fear, it will just wash away. i have to get to the water. i have to find my way out to the water and be free of all of it and let it all be free of me. i will consume the whole lake and the whole lake will consume me. i will swim in a thunderstorm and i'll get electrocuted and i'll be okay.

i'll still be okay.