2:08 a.m. - 2009-07-17
kittykat
walking home i am mistaken for a prostitute twice. once by a man in a car and then by a man on a bike. also another man asks me if i'm "okay". my answers are always so bright and confident, i want to let them know that they cant fuck with me, i have my head on my shoulders. i say "i'm doing great" "i'm not a prostitute".

well, not tonight i'm not.

i know i'm still alive but sometimes it doesn't feel like it. the summer is hot and slipping away way too fast and i'm wasting my time.

the sex was mediocre and its my fault. he put in his all. me, i was worried about the timing of my orgasm. i fucked it up.

i'm trying to figure out what level of "respectability" i can live with. i'm a dirty whore and thats the truth. the sluttier i look the more aggressive it is, the more confident. yes i can dress like this and walk down this street at this time of night. yes i can. do not fuck with me.

i wear running shoes. i can scream like a motherfucker.

but i wont have to, my eyes, the look is enough.

i leaned into him and hugged him, smelled his cologne, it was sweet and nice. but still the sex was mediocre. the kissing was amazing. but i fucked up the sex.

i blame my exboyfriend and the weird patterns our sex life got into. i need to shake that shit off.