4:34 p.m. - 2009-08-04
confinement
baby i dont think its gonna work. i know, i know i fell for it already, you fed me the fantasy, i really like riding around in your car, i really like you paying for my beer, i really like the way my pussy lights up sometimes, the way you give it me so hard, your smile and the looks on your faces, but, i dont think you can handle me. i know i said this before, and you think its bullshit, you think loving a punk girl is as simple as being okay with the hairstyle and the piercings, you dont realize how complex it is. and now you tell me so casually in a text, you cant handle me being with girls. but i'm about to go out with a beautiful girl, and what? i'm not allowed to kiss her? what is that? why can't you understand, i'm as big as the sky, i won't fit inside the frame of your window, that is only a piece of me. i want to be all of me. i haven't told you this yet, i dont know what to say. i know you are happy to have me, i know you really want to keep me, but you are asking for too much "compromise" and certainly too soon, i can't commit that easily. i haven't slept with any other guys, i haven't even given out my number, and that says a lot. but what i'm allowed to do is getting smaller and smaller and it occurred to me: i'm allowed to do whatever i want.