10:53 a.m. - 2009-10-03
jealousy, its such an evil thing
maybe i'm not as lucky as i thought (i already slapped in the face, not a good start.) jealousy and too much wine, smashed my head into the wall, puked 10 times. he forgave me for my violence and my bullshit, but how do i feel? can i really be with a man who i feel so jealous around? he's an aries, outgoing and friendly. and maybe too friendly. i want a boy who will really be mine. why did i think this would really be it this time? why do i always want it so bad? it's ok. we'll see how it goes. i have other things to focus on. maybe things will work out with him. maybe not. i dont know.