10:48 p.m. - 2009-10-08
jermaine
jermaine is fuckin gorgeous. as soon as he got here we started kissing, we didnt know what to say to each other yet. and i was looking at him, periodically, thinking how fuckin beautiful he is, thinking if me and the 5-second boyfriend hadn't ended it i would never have got to fuck this gorgeous guy. and he's a good kisser, and my pleasure is his pleasure. i couldn't believe it. i was like, Ishtar, is this some kind of gift for me? have i been good? he sucked my tits, and i was thinking, oh i wish he'd suck em both at the same time, and then he squeezed them together and sucked both nipples at once, it was amazing. i pulled my clothes off, except my panties, and he pushed those to the side and rubbed my clit (commenting on my wet pussy) and fingered me, he was sitting there on my floor, clothes and hat and jacket and everything still on, fingering me like crazy and encouraging me to rub my clit (yes, yes, YES) and i couldn't believe it. there was a part of me that didn't want to let myself let go, there was a part of me still hung up on all that baggage, but it dropped away. my pleasure was his pleasure, he liked to watch me feeling good. then i decided to suck his dick and i gave it my all, deepthroating him and everything and i could tell he loved it, i put my ass up in the air and he fingered me from behind and used his other hand on the back of my head to direct my movement. i loved the noises he made when i was doing it just right. and then when we fucked. i got on top at first, for a little bit, but the fun really started when he flipped me over and fucked me doggy. i have not been fucked that hard in a long time, in fact i had forgotten that some men know how to give it to a girl like that. i rubbed my clit frantically, and just gave in. it felt so good, i disappeared into it, he was still wearing his hat and he squeezed my ass and slapped it and gave it to me. i came HARD. one of those orgasms that i haven't had in so long, where i didn't have time to think, didn't have the ability to think, it was just himandme and our bodies, the movement, the thrust of his hard dick. it felt good. after i came i flipped on to my back and we fucked missionary and i wrapped my arms around him and it was so nice, i felt completely submissive to the pleasure, to his capability to give me pleasure and he fucked me so good until he came too. then we chilled for a bit and talked, now we could talk, now we knew each other. he's a virgo. we talked about that. but it wasn't long till he was fingering me again and it wasn't long till we were fucking again. and this time we were kissing, really making out and it was beautiful. the union of our bodies, mmmm. it was lovely. and i came again, really good, and then he flipped me over and fucked me so hard i could hardly take it until he came again. then we lied around and talked, he is a nice guy, i like him. there's something i've been thinking about, about fucking guys who's friends have died and a lot of his friends have died and i tried to wrap my mind around it, i tried to think of what to say. it's fucked up. and i said so, and i looked at him, i wanted to give him some love, i touched his arm, i wanted to melt away even a little bit of that pain, but it is all so huge and so fucked up. this life that is his life, this dangerous life where people he loves die, i don't understand it, it isn't mine. and i don't know how to reach him across that distance, i don't know where to start, what to say. all i can say is, that is so fucked up. and touch his arm, look at him, try to show him that i want to listen, that i think its so fucked and wrong, and try to show him how i love his body, his life, his soul, his potential, him, i value him and i touch his arm, i dont want him to die, i dont want the people he loves to die. we talked about other things, porn and sex toys, i showed him my favourite glass dildo and promised to play with some of my toys for him some time. i love that he likes to watch me play with myself. that is a very important quality in a man. overeall it was really good, and i am glad we fucked.